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Wednesday, 11 April 2012



How do you get a donkey to move?

I guess it’s fair to say there are many ways; however we tend to rely on only a few.

1.     We can try to force it by dragging, pulling, pushing and screaming at it – ‘til we’re blue in the face.
2.     We can hit it on the rump with a stick.
3.     We can dangle a carrot in front of its nose.
4.     Or we could simply shoot the donkey in the head, then go and get a better donkey - one that will do as it’s told. Just kidding. Damn Donkey!

What do you think you’d prefer to do? Force it? Or go for the carrot or the stick? Or perhaps you actually do prefer the bullet? Whichever is your preference, the truth is the donkey truly needs an incentive, a good reason to move ahead, either away from the pain or towards a reward.

I know you know what’s coming now, but it has to be said:
Human beings are just the same: So if they don’t do as you tell them, shoot them! Again, just kidding.

People are motivated to move away from pain – a terrible situation, destructive behaviour, bad health, no wealth, painful relationship worries – or towards pleasure – a reward, a positive goal or outcome: spiritual, emotional, material, improved health, happiness, wealth etc.

Have you ever been forced to do something or go in a certain direction by someone who felt they knew best? It doesn’t really work in the long run and can even make you dig your heels in even more and blindly refuse, sometimes even in spite of the fact that what they are suggesting might actually do you some good. The outcome of such actions usually ends up with everyone losing out. Actually, let’s cut the crap…if someone tries to make you do something, shoot them too! Again, just kidding. The truth is, sometimes someone else can have an incredibly pure vision of what our potential might be if we were to just consider making some simple changes. Had they facilitated towards or away from motivation, instead of just pulling or pushing, or screaming, they may well have achieved their outcome and the success for us which they truly desired. And as far as screaming goes …have you seen my gun?

Accessing the motivations to change will enable giant steps forward and easier attainment of desired outcomes, goals and changes in any area of your life. If that's what you want.

Being aware of what you are moving away from (a stick) is clarifying and powerful in itself.
i.e. ‘I am sick of carrying this excess weight.’ Good starting point.

Crystalising what you are moving towards is another magic key.
i.e ‘I’d like to be my ideal weight.’ A good positive statement.

It’s vital to state what you are moving towards in the positive and in a direct, succinct manner. In this instance, to say ‘I don’t want to be overweight anymore’ would be a statement in the negative. It’s focussing on what you don’t want – the ‘overweight’. Whereas, to set a goal of ‘I’d like to be my ideal weight’ is a direct request and a clear goal stated in the positive.

A bunch of carrots and a handful of sticks are even better, as I’m sure you can imagine. All you have to do at this point is go further into both the pain you are deciding to move away from and the pleasure you are now moving towards.

Start by asking:

In what ways does this excess weight (Stick) affect me?
i.e (this is the bunch of sticks) ‘I feel uncomfortable, ugly, slow, lacking energy, low in confidence,’ whatever is true of the multiple ways this STICK negatively effects you, others around you and your life in general. This is like loading up the slingshot before you make the shot and really stacking up your reasons will improve your aim and enable you to hit the target. Be honest: To the degree that you are able to be honest with this the more improvements you’ll find easy to naturally attain.

Now grab a bunch of carrots. If the grocer doesn’t have any…shoot him too. Again, just kidding. Actually, to the degree that you can laugh at yourself and take yourself with a pinch of salt, so to say - in your life in general - the better your outcomes in personal development will be. I can feel a quotation coming on…

Angels fly because they take themselves lightly (G.K. Chesterton)

Ah (sigh). I needed that.

The bunch of carrots acts like a turbo. To venture further into the rewards/pleasures you are moving towards, answer these 3 simple questions:

1.     What does that carrot do for you specifically?

i.e. I’ll feel energized. It’ll improve my confidence = 2 carrots

2.     What do you truly want that carrot for?

i.e. To improve my health and fitness and enable me to exercise even more. To feel good about myself. To be proud of myself = 3 carrots

3.     What will that carrot give you?

i.e. Self esteem, self belief, more confidence to find my dream partner, to feel good in clothes. I can tighten up a few notches on my gun belt! = 5 carrots.

A grand total of 10 carrots.

These examples are just made up. I happen to know very confident, sexually attractive, healthy and extremely happy people who are carrying more weight than someone else would be happy with: So it’s a very personal thing. And remember this is just an example; you may be working on the goal of say... keeping a tidy house, or improving your outlook, or starting a business, or learning to play the piano. Whatever it is, large or small, the same things apply.

If you want to put a turbo on the turbo just get sensory specific with all these outcomes and simply venture into the feelings of ‘How will it be when I have all of these?’ Notice how you feel when you imagine having them. Consider how your loved ones and others might be when they are around the new you. What differences would they and you notice? Put yourself – with your whole sensory experience: feelings, sights, sounds, smells, tastes – into imagined situations where the new you can experience the pleasures of the outcomes you decide would be good for both yourself and the people closest to you. The reason we include our loved ones in our goals is because at a core level we like to benefit others as well as ourselves, especially the ones we love. Allow your breathing and physiology to be naturally effected by the experience.

To put a turbo on the turbo on top of the original turbo it’s a good idea to set a timeframe on when you will achieve these things. Make it realistic, achievable and fully believe in achieving it.

Add another turbo: (How many is that now?) Be aware of the varying evidence that you know will be in place: proof beyond doubt that you are moving in the right direction and constantly achieving your goal. Remember this evidence: It will be a payoff as you are moving towards and achieving your goal over the timeframe.

Now to add the turbo of all turbos: While you are tuned into the feelings of the achieved outcome, you can turn up the juice and really vamp up the experience by just choosing to do so. Just go ahead and expand these feelings. Turn them right up! Really feel it! Remember to adapt your breathing and physiology to fit the feelings.

Now all you gotta do is give this all a symbol. That’s right…a symbol. An image that represents the outcome achieved and being enjoyed. This is like bringing in the best mechanic in the world - your unconscious process, which works great with symbols - to finely tune the engine of your goal.
i.e. You see yourself smiling in a particular meaningful surrounding or place. Or it could be a triangle with a palm tree inside. Or a yellow circle with a green leaf inside. A sunset. A lake with mountains… whatever is the right symbol for your desired outcome and the attained feelings, let it be. This is vitally important and the ultra magic ingredient. The symbol is key.

You then place your symbol in a space in your mind’s eye where you construct images. So if I were to ask you to imagine an egg with a purple yolk, where would you construct that image in your mind’s eye? That’s where you visually construct imagined things. That’s where you place your symbol and that's where it stays for future reference. Make it as big and compelling as you like. Then start shooting at it! Juuust kidding. That's how you create new filters for your map of the world - remember my blog on beliefs? It's a direct new injection and request to your unconscious process of how you'd like your life to be and your unconscious will support you with it. 

While tuned into all this just simply ponder these two questions:

A. What am I believing about myself?

B. And what’s important to me about that?

Now here’s something amazing that my good friend Ricky Gill shared with me. Stir this into the mix by saying affirmingly...

‘I just know, something amazing is going to happen in my life today.
I know something amazing is going to happen in my life today.
Something amazing is going to happen in my life today!’

Then while you gaze into and are delightfully linked with your symbol, ask yourself this simple yet incredibly magical question:

Q. What’s the next smallest essential step I can take to help me achieve all this?

When you have your answer – which is inspired information - put your gun down and go do it. Whatever it is. If it was to take a walk, write, open a new account, call someone, start a plan, get to work, go somewhere, whatever it is just do it.

Once that’s done, re-engage with your symbol, let the feelings rise and expand again and ask that simple, magical question once again:

Q. What’s the next smallest essential step I can take to help me achieve all this?

Loop the symbol/question sequence and continue tuning in and then taking inspired actions whilst making your way to your compelling positive outcome, which, by the way, may also be making it's way to you. The inspired, higher level answers you receive whilst using the symbol will accelerate the process and fire you towards your desired outcomes. Simple. Fact.

And you can gaze into your symbol last thing at night and connect with something truly home grown, something your unconscious process can keep working with while you sleep. What might that be like?

And I guess it’s fair to say if all this doesn’t work, you can always shoot yourself.
Once again… Just kidding.


Thanks for reading

Simon Caira
Author of Bish and the Magic Bow & Arrow